Although there are lots of different sex toy options out there today, it really doesn’t get much more versatile or user-friendly than a dildo. Those who love penetrative play can enjoy their first dildo on their own or with a partner. Dildos can also be managed by hand, loaded into a harness, suction-cupped to a wall, and so much more.
Still, the sheer number of dildo choices can be overwhelming, especially for a first-timer. Here’s a closer look at how you can make sense of all your options and figure out which ones are the best fits for your play routine.
Consider what your needs are
Chances are you already have a specific purpose or two in mind for your future dildo, but you should also give yourself some room to expand your repertoire in the future. For example, you might need to break out of a self-service rut, or maybe you’re in the market for a dildo because you and your partner have been talking about trying harness play. If that’s the case, definitely get a dildo that’s harness compatible.
But consider what else you might want to do with the toy, too. For example, does it need to also be a good fit for solo sessions? What about partner play that doesn’t involve a harness? Are there any collective triggers, turn-ons, likes, or dislikes to consider while shopping?
Don’t go too big too soon
Dildos are just like real penises in that everyone thinks they want a big one until they actually find themselves facing a big one. If you or your partner are new to dildos or penetrative toys in general, start with something mid-sized and get used to that first. There’s plenty of time to upgrade later on.
It’s also important to know the difference between “length” and “insertable length” when shopping around for sex toys. Usually, both measurements will be given on the packaging or in the product description of the toy. But the receiving partner’s body will only need to accommodate the insertable length.
Think about design
Although people do tend to picture a classically phallic dildo when they think of dildos as a toy category, that’s definitely not the only shape available. Some people for sure want a lifelike phallic dildo for gender affirmation reasons or because that’s genuinely the shape that turns them on the most, and that’s OK.
But there are just as many people who prefer something non-representational. There are also dildos out there that come in lots of different textures. Some are completely smooth, while others are enhanced with ridges, knobs, or beading to enhance sensation even further. Glass dildos in particular are beautiful in their own right and can be displayed in your home.
Prioritize body-safe options
The state of your sexual health might not be the primary concern on your mind when you’re shopping around for your first dildo, but that doesn’t make it any less important. Many people simply take it for granted that if a sex toy is for sale somewhere that it’s been thoroughly vetted and proven safe by a team of health experts, but this isn’t the case. Some materials are definitely more body-conscious than others.
Choose toys that are labeled body-safe to ensure you’re not exposing yourself or your partner to dangerous parabens and similar compounds. Body-safe materials – like silicone, glass, ABS plastic, or metal – are non-porous, as they don’t harbor microscopic places for bacteria and germs to become trapped.
Decide whether vibration appeals to you
There’s generally a lot of confusion out there as to whether dildos and vibrators are the same, as the two have a lot in common. However, rest easy in the knowledge that the two are actually different things.
A vibrator’s primary purpose is to generate stimulating vibrations. Many are penetrative, but there are plenty of vibrators that aren’t. Dildos, on the other hand, are primarily built for penetrative play that potentially involves a harness, a suction cup, or both. Some dildos also vibrate, but not all of them. So yes, decide whether you’d like your future dildo to come with this ability.
Think about what your partner might like, too
If you’re shopping for a first dildo you plan on using with your partner in the future, it’s a good idea to talk to them first about what kinds they might like or how they picture the two of you enjoying whatever you buy. Have they used a dildo before? What are they into as far as size, shape, and material?
Shopping for a dildo, as well as a harness and any other necessary accessories, can be a fun activity to try together, too. It’s a great way to get a dialogue going about your sex life and settle on something you’re both excited about taking for a spin.
Ultimately, penetrative play is sexy and satisfying for many people regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation, and a dildo is an excellent tool for exploring it properly. So start your search for your ideal option today, and then take it from there!
